Announcing Your Engagement

Is a public announcement of an engagement necessary?

No, it is optional. But if Caroline and Mark want to be sure that everyone interested in them knows of their engagement, her parents make public announcement.

How is public announcement made?

Through the society sections of newspapers: never by engraved or printed announcements.

Are public announcement of an engagement always correct?

When a wedding is to be a quiet one, if it is to be at the bedside of an ill parent, if it follows a death in the immediate family, no announcement is made except by quietly telling families and friends. A divorced couple does not usually announce the engagement. However, a very young divorcee who was married only a short time and the circumstances of whose divorce are understood, may properly have her engagement announced by her parents. Engagements are not usually announced by a mature widow, or a mature woman marrying for the first time. However, if either strongly desires a public announcement, it may be made in the “impersonal announcement” form

When is public announcement of an engagement made?

Usually from three to four months before the wedding date, although the exact date of the wedding need not be set when the engagement is announced. It is wise not to make the announcement more than one year in advance of the wedding.
The announcement is usually made no less than six weeks in advance of the wedding.

If Mark is a member of the armed forces, the engagement might properly be announced one week (or even less) before the wedding date, owing to sudden changes of orders, etc.
There are possible circumstances among civilians when an engagement might occur within a few weeks or few days before the wedding, thus the wedding announcement would appear almost immediately after the engagement announcement in the newspapers.

By whom is an engagement announced?

By Caroline’s parents: never under any circumstances by Mark or any member of his family. Even if Caroline’s family lives in a distant city or foreign country, even if they have been very ill, or if she has lived away from them for a long time, the public announcement is made in their name. The engagement of a very young divorcee or a very young widow is announced by her parents.
The announcement should never be made by bride or groom personally in a night club or restaurant statement to the press. This is true, also, when an engagement is broken.
The fact that Mark may have been divorced one or more times or is a widower, does not influence the announcement if Caroline is being married for the first time. It is announced by her parents in the usual manner.

If Caroline has lived away from her parents for a very long time and she has some strong personal reason for wishing the announcement made impersonally rather than in her parents’ name, this is acceptable. If one of the parents is not living, the announcement should be made in the name of the one surviving, if that one has not remarried. If both parents are not living, the announcement is made by Caroline’s close relatives or guardian.

What is the private announcement of an engagement?

This is an announcement made at a private party given any time after the father’s approval has been granted and the immediate families, close relatives, and intimate friends have been told. While the party is not necessarily coordinated with the public newspaper announcement, frequently it is timed to “break” with the newspaper publicity.

Is the private announcement at a party necessary?

NO, it is entirely optional. In some of the larger cities it is not customary. Certainly there is no need to consider one if giving it means a financial strain.

Are there any circumstances when an engagement party should not be given?

If the parents of either Caroline or Mark are in mourning, an engagement announcement party should not be given.

Who gives the engagement announcement party?

Caroline’s parents (or close relatives if the parents are not living) give the party to announce the engagement. Neither Mark nor any member of his family should give it.
Divorcees, mature widows, mature women being married for the first time, may either give their own parties or have them given for them by relatives in their family.

How large should an engagement announcement party be?

The party may be as large or as intimate as desired.

Who should be invited?

The parents of both Caroline and Mark (unless they live in another city), and all members of both families are included in the invitations. Also it is correct to invite some of Caroline’s and Mark’s young friends as well as some of the parents’ friends.

What type of party is appropriate?

Luncheons, teas, cocktail parties, buffet suppers, receptions, dinners, dances: all are appropriate and may be as formal or informal as desired (see Supplement V on menus). At home, hotel, club or restaurant but not at a night club.

How is the actual announcement of the engagement made at an engagement party?

Caroline may simply display her new ring as she greets the guests. Provided the ideas are not overdone, novel gadgets to break the news are permissible. At more formal or quite large parties, the announcement is made in the receiving line-Caroline’s mother introduces each guest to Mark’s mother saying, perhaps, “Caroline’s new mother,” and Caroline introduces Mark to each guest as her fiancĂ©.

At semi-formal or informal parties, Caroline’s father introduces Mark to everyone he does not know.
At a dinner party, as soon as all the glasses have been filled with whatever beverage is being served, Caroline’s father or male relative makes the announcement by arising and proposing a toast, “My daughter (niece, granddaughter, etc.), Caroline, and her fiancĂ©, Mark Boles.” This toast is very much in order even if glasses have been raised “to Caroline and Mark” at cocktails before dinner. All except Caroline and Mark rise and drink. Then Mark responds with a few words-more if he wishes, although a brief, simple response is entirely correct. For suggestions see Supplement II on Toasts.

Is an announcement always made at an engagement party?

It is frequently omitted when the party is given on the same day that the newspapers release the announcement.

How should women dress for her engagement party?

She will probably want a special gown and it should be formal, semi-formal or informal according to the kind of party planned. Even though it is her engagement that is being announced and she is the star of the occasion, she should not for this reason over-dress. She should select a gown of good material, well-cut in the latest style (avoiding “high-style”); neither too young nor too old, and depending on line rather than over-trimming in lace or sequins-then she will be assured of the loveliness of simplicity and perfect taste. If the party is in the home, pastels or colours are appropriate and hat and gloves unnecessary (except for a very formal evening reception or dance when gloves are worn). Darker colours, including black, brown, and navy or midnight blue are the better choice if the party is given in a public place. At such parties, hat and gloves are correct to complete the costume.

ote: In selecting her costume for this most important occasion, an engaged girl should remember never to overshadow her own personality or make herself uncomfortable. The good taste she expresses is more important than how much money she spends, while ease, grace and naturalness of manner are always enhanced by simplicity.

Who sends the invitations to the engagement announcement party?

Except when engraved invitations are used, which are in the name of the host and hostess, the invitations are always sent in the name of the hostess alone, even if she is married. If the host of an engagement party is unmarried, then it is correct to send the invitations in his name only.

What type of invitation to an engagement announcement party is correct?

The type of invitation depends upon the kind of party to be given: formal, semi-formal, or informal. While it is permissible to issue informal invitations to any party, including the most formal one, it is most incorrect to issue a formal invitation to an informal or semi-formal party (for instance never use engraved invitations for an informal luncheon or buffet supper, etc.).

If only relatives and very intimate friends are to be included in the party, Caroline’s mother may issue invitations as she pleases. If, however, the party is to include guests who are rather distant acquaintances of Caroline’s mother, or relatives or friends of Mark’s whom Caroline’s mother has never met, the following methods of invitation should be used explicitly:
A verbal invitation or handwritten invitation by card (folding or visiting card) for a luncheon, tea, cocktail party or buffet supper.

A handwritten invitation by card (folding or visiting card) for afternoon and evening informal receptions, an engraved invitation for a formal reception. A verbal invitation or handwritten invitation by card for an informal or semi-formal dinner, an engraved invitation for a formal dinner. A verbal invitation for a very small, informal dance, a handwritten invitation by card (folding or visiting card) for an informal dance, an engraved invitation for a formal dance.

Note: When verbal invitations have been issued, follow with a reminder card. In emergencies, invitation for any kind of entertainment may be sent by telegraph. Whenever a very large affair is given at which lists have to be checked at the door, it is essential to choose engraved invitations.

Categories: Engagement

Leave A Reply

Your email address will not be published.